UpFront Regrets… I’ve had a few

But then again… are they, as the well-known song continues “too few to mention” or are they tucked securely into various “toxic thought patterns” that are keeping you stuck in career rut?
According to American author Howard Beazley, some of us go through life dragging an increasingly heavy train of past hurts and regrets which prevent us achieving our full potential. Some of the toxic thought culprits outlined in his book No Regrets: 10- step program for living in the present and leaving the past behind were listed in recent American Management Association newsletter.
There’s ‘perfectionism’ – wanting things to be exactly right all the time. This not only perpetuates sense of failure but becomes constant source of exasperation and frustration with self and co-workers.
‘Exaggerated control’ – the need to micro-manage every aspect of job. This hampers effective delegation, affects work relations and limits the value co-workers can bring to the work team or task.
‘Foreseeing the future’ – another expectation that not only sets people up for disappointment but may blind them to more immediate solutions.
Beazley has developed list of questions to figure out just how burdensome your regrets are – whether past actions still make you cringe, past failures still dog your days, previous events still have the power to re-victimise you? Are you unable to forgive past hurt or your own bad behaviour? Does growing older bring with it gnawing regrets that hinder enjoyment of the present?
He also has ‘no-regrets’ recipe. Its ingredients include: take responsibility and make amends, stay grateful, practise humility, serve others, forgive others and yourself, accept life and live resolutely in the present.
Frankly, he could perhaps have added, “do it my way”.