When it comes to body language, I try
to remind myself to keep my own personal body language to minimum in sales and negotiating situations. neutral demeanour is still the best way to prevent the other side from knowing what you’re really thinking.
Body language can be deceiving. When prospect starts tapping his fingers it may mean he’s not interested. But it could be nothing more than nervous habit or someone playing out private drumbeat.
I also have problem with the sequence people use to interpret body language. First they spot non-verbal cue, (the prospect leans forward in his chair). Then they attach meaning to it, (the prospects interest has been piqued). Now, you can spend so much mental energy seeking out these indirect signals and decoding their messages you miss what people are actually saying.
I prefer to reverse this sequence. First I construct mental checklist of crucial messages I want the other side to send out during our discussion. Then I look for non-verbal cues to support it.
The vital messages circulating in the room during sales call or negotiation are universal and unyielding. Everyone in the room is curious about the same things: —
* is the other side interested
* are they telling the truth
* do they have the authority to make decision
* are they ready to close
* do they like me
* do they have the budget?
Body language alone won’t provide answers to all these questions. For example in all my years of selling I still haven’t found subtle way of determining if the other side can afford my price. There’s no body language that tells the size of someone’s budget. I still have to ask “do you have the budget for this?”
Where body language is helpful though, is precisely in the areas where a) people can’t ask direct questions and b) even if they could the other side mightn’t answer them.
Consider these messages:
1. Who’s got the power?
You don’t usually need body language to determine this. If the CEO’s in the room it’s self evident. What you don’t know though is who the CEO’s favourites are and who you’ll be dealing with later on… ie who’s second in command.
I look for cues that person is comfortable in the CEO’s presence. In many companies the boss has an intimidating effect — employees are over-alert, quick to laugh at the boss’ jokes. I look for the opposite. People with power are comfortable around other powerful people. They sit directly in the CEO’s sight line. Often on the far side of the table rather than next to the CEO. They don’t bring legal pad to take notes. Another sign is who feels free to interrupt or contradict the CEO — and more telling, who gets away with it.
2. Who’s telling the truth?
There’s one overwhelming reason people take an interest in body language; so they can tell when someone is lying. They look for the obvious mannerisms: averted eyes, blinking rapidly, covering the mouth to speak, shrugging shoulders, looking down, wetting the lips, swallowing repeatedly, clearing the throat, rubbing the back of the neck, scratching the head while speaking.
Perhaps I’m too cynical, but with people I don’t know well, I always assume they are shading the truth in our discussion. I don’t mean that the other side is proactively lying or making up numbers, but they may be omitting key facts that tilt the dialogue in their favour.
As result, I’m alert to those rare moments when I know I’m getting the unvarnished truth.
I was once sitting at table at wedding reception with an old friend and his wife. I hadn’t seen the man in years and casually asked how his business was going.
His answer was cheery and upbeat. Ten minutes later I heard his wife, few seats away, paint decidedly different picture to another woman at our table. The wife said the business was failing, they had to borrow money from her parents, and so on.
At that moment, if I had had any doubts about whether husband or wife was telling the truth, the man’s body language erased all doubt. As his wife spoke, I could see him tense up and his eyes widen.
These clues were revealing but not conclusive. But when he stood up, walked around the table, pulled up chair next to his wife, and put his arm around her — courtly equivalent of covering her mouth — I knew she was telling the truth.
I’ve noticed the same response in business meetings when someone from the other side starts giving away more information than his or her bosses think I should know.
Real numbers — sales figures, profit margins, how much someone got paid — are always the toughest details to extract from the other side. So whenever I hear someone spouting out actual numbers in meeting I not only note the numbers, but I look at the other people across the table. Do they have panicked look in their eyes? Are they clearing their throats or doing something with their hands to catch their talkative colleague’s attention? Do they lean imperceptibly toward the colleague, as if they’re fighting to be the first to interrupt?
3. Do they like the concept?
In many ways, tactile signals — the way the prospect touches your product — are the most revealing body language.
The other day I was meeting with New York publisher who was interested in my next book. As she and her staff strolled into her conference room, I could see she was carrying my hefty manuscript under her arm. I made mental note to keep an eye on how she treated my manuscript during the meeting.
Flipping through the pages dismissively would indicate mild interest. Pushing the manuscript aside when we discussed editorial content would indicate even less interest. In this case however, she repeatedly touched the pages, even resting her arm possessively on them at one point as if she was unwilling to let anyone have it, which I interpreted as very positive signal and cue that I could afford to take an aggressive negotiating position with her. And, indeed, she is now my publisher.
But I wonder if she has any idea how she gives herself away. She conducts these author meetings several times week, in each case carrying proposal or manuscript with her — ie, something she must touch.
To the trained eye, it’s almost as if she has her bidding strategy tattooed to her forehead.
On the other hand, I wonder how many authors are paying attention.
4. It’s time to close the deal
The best way to close deal of course, is to ask for the order directly. Body language, however, can give you invaluable timing cues.
For one thing, you never want to ask for the order too soon, before the prospect is fully convinced that he needs your product or service. In my experience, crossed arms over the chest are the clearest sign that prospect remains unpersuaded by your pitch. Crossed arms are the ultimate defensive gesture. They’re code for all sorts of statements — from “Show me” to “I need to know much more than you’re telling me”. But the one thing they don’t say is, “I’m ready to buy”.
If the prospect is sitting in front of you with crossed arms (or weaker variations such as clasped hands or crossed legs), that’s not the time to ask for the order.
The good news here, of course, is that sometimes the prospect shifts out of defensive posture. The shift can signal change in attitude.
In my experience, when prospect uncrosses his arms or unclasps his hands, it either means the meeting is over or I should prepare to ask for the order.
At those moments, I study the prospect’s eyes and hands. If the prospect’s eyes are looking directly at me, that’s good sign. It means I’ve made connection.
As for the hands, if the prospect is rubbing them (an incredibly crude but revealing sign of satisfaction and anticipation), it means I’ve made sale.
Mark McCormack is the founder of International Management Group. www.successsecrets.com
